Chapter 8 – Answers.
I got back home just after seven, in time to eat and to not get in trouble. After eating I said I needed to get some school work done and retreated to my bedroom. Actually I didn’t even bother to get the books out and do any work. I just thought to myself why the hell didn’t I question Jake. Of course I knew why, although I’d made a big thing out it when I’d called him on Sunday I didn’t want it getting in the way. From the very first moment on the bus I was attracted to Jake and after having sex with him that attraction was even stronger.
I lay there thinking about it, I had the sensation that I could still feel him inside me. I don’t know if I was in love with him, probably not, but I definitely wanted more, more sex, it was just too good. I closed my eyes and imagined I was still with him, that we were lying side by side naked in his bed and that we could have a whole night of love making together. I was getting hard just thinking about him and what he could do to me.
My brain entered onto the scene and told me I had to find out if I could trust him. Problem was, you could say it was like opening Pandora’s box, now that I had had real sex, I wanted more and more experiences. I just couldn’t help thinking that Jake was perfect, I know it probably would sound completely stupid to anybody else, but right then, at that moment it was what I felt.
Anyway I decided to call him just to hear his voice. I found my phone, picked it up and called. It rang about five times and went to the automated reply: ” Hi, you’ve reached Jake, but I’m not around, leave me a message.”
Why isn’t he around, shit I only left him a few hours ago, he can’t have gone out. I hung up, no point to leave a message, but I was disappointed not to be able to talk to him.
Five minutes later, just as I was wondering if I should get down to doing the school work, the phone rang. For a second I thought it would be Jake calling me back, but it wasn’t, it was Matty.
“Hi Matty, hows things?” I asked.
“Alright,” he replied. “Listen Alex, what do you think about coming back to my house after the match on Saturday and sleeping over?”
“Yeah, sounds good Matty, is it OK with your parents?”
“My parents are away Saturday night, they said I can have you over to stay, but no one else.”
“Ha ha,” I said. “No parties then.”
“No, no parties, but anyway Alex, I’d really like it to be just the two of us.”
This made me realise Matty wanted to be alone with me, that maybe he wanted to pick up from where we left off with the phone sex. My mind started imagining loads of things that could happen.
“Well me too, Matty, it sounds great, I’ll tell my folks, but they will be cool.”
“Fantastic,” he replied enthusiastically. Now I really did think that we would sleep together on Saturday night and as I thought about it my cock started to respond.
I decided to change the subject and asked him, “Did you check out that new clan?”
“Yes,” he replied. “And it’s good, cool people, different ages, but mostly young, teenage or twenties. The leader is in Sweden he’s 26, nice guy, he said you are welcome to join too.”
“OK, I will go there.”
“Great, I meant to tell you before, but you know, you’ve been busy so I never got the chance.”
“Well, you told me now and Saturday with you will be fun.”
“Yeah, I think so.”
“It’s getting late and I need to get some school work done.”
“Yeah, me too. Goodnight Alex.”
“Night” I ended the call.
I couldn’t help thinking I had too much going on in my life, does every 15 year old have a life as complicated as mine? I don’t think so, they don’t anyway have to deal with being gay and they don’t have to deal with having two relationships at the same time.
I didn’t get much work done and after around half an hour I put the books away, got undressed, put on my pyjamas and slid under the duvet. As I was falling asleep I started imagining having sex with Matty. It had been good on the phone, but actually being with him, next to next, touching him, that would be a hundred times better.
* * * * * *
Thursday lunch time when I looked at my phone there was a message from Jake.
It said: sorry I missed your call phone died call me tonight.
What does that mean? I asked myself, then considered the answer, he had no battery. Well that works if he wasn’t at home because at home he just needed to plug it in to recharge it. So either he switched it off or if the battery really was empty he was out. Why should I care anyway, I don’t know, but it bugged be.
When I got in from school I went straight up to my room and called Jake.
“Alex,” he answered immediately.
“Hi, I got your message,” I said.
“Yes Alex, sorry about last night, but after you left I put the phone on charge and switched it off”
There was the explanation, he didn’t go out, he just turned the phone off when recharging it.
“It was great,” he continued. “Being with you last night, really great Alex.”
“For me too,” I replied.
“I wish we could have spent the whole night together, I missed you as soon as you left.”
It was like he had some sort of special power, he always seemed to say exactly what I was thinking. How did he manage to do that?
“Jake, I…” I hesitated bringing the subject up.
“I wanted, but never got around to asking you who is Jonathan.”
“Well Alex, I suppose you could say he’s an ex, but that’s not exactly true.”
“What do you mean, not exactly true?”
“I’ve known him a while, over a year, ever since I moved here, I suppose we’re good friends.” I waited for him to continue, I didn’t interrupt. “Thing is he always wanted more than just friendship and… well one time, I made a mistake, I slept with him. I never should have because I more or less knew what he was like, but I did.”
“What he was like, what do you mean?” I asked.
“Umm… well he likes stuff that I’m not at all into. Do I have to tell you all this?” It seemed like I had put Jake on the spot, he’d started telling me and I wanted to know more, but I was pretty much convinced now that Jake was telling the truth. He was opening up a bit of his personal history which is something I was sure he would never have done if our relationship held no importance for him.
“You don’t have to, but you started it so…”
“OK then, Jonathan is into pretty weird stuff, weird for me anyway. He is sort of into S&M type stuff, that’s his thing, when we slept together he wanted to tie me to the bed, but I wasn’t into it. That’s why I said it was a mistake.” I was starting to discover who Jonathan was now.
“So if you weren’t into it and it’s over, how come he was kissing you in the shopping mall?” Here was the question Jake needed to answer.
“I knew you’d get back to that,” he replied. “Jonathan is a bit obsessed with me, that’s also his character. I suppose you could say he falls for someone and then he can’t let it go even when it doesn’t work out and the other person doesn’t feel the same.”
“So he’s obsessed with you?” I repeated what Jake had just said.
“He was, he’s changed now, he’s found someone else, I just hope that guy knows what he’s getting into. I mean I don’t mind playing about a bit, but I wouldn’t be into real pain, hurting someone, sadomasochism, that’s not me.”
“Oh!” That was all I could say. I thought about when Jake smacked my arse which I kind of liked, but I knew he was talking about something more than that when he was describing Jonathan. I had my answer.
“You’ve gone quiet again Alex,” he said.
“Yes, I was just thinking that’s all.”
“Well don’t think too much about Jonathan, think about us. When can I see you again? This weekend?”
I felt a bit guilty now because I was going to spend the weekend with Matty. “This weekend I can’t Jake. I really want to see you again, but it will just have to be next week, I’m sorry.”
“I don’t think I can wait that long,” he said joking.
“Jake, I’m sorry,” I repeated.
“It’s OK Alex, it’s OK, I guess I will just have to hold on until I can get that sexy young body of yours in my bed again.”
“And me too,” I said. “I really want to be with you again, I’ll call you, OK.”
“Sure babe, but don’t forget.”
“Of course not.”
“Bye then sexy.”
“Bye Jake.” The call ended.
I was left asking myself who the hell is actually cheating here, it’s not Jake and it’s definitely not Matty. No, it’s me who’s the one carrying on two relationships, me who’s the one living a secret life, it’s me doing all the cheating and lies. It seemed to come so easy to me, but I knew there would be a price to pay, but I also knew I liked both Jake and Matty, I hoped I would never have to chose between them, that would be the worst thing ever.